**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
