Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
MIDGETS
????
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
