So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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