i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
