It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
