honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
