i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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