it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
