who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
