I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
