I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
