I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
