Pregnant stripper...not hot.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
What drink are we having for lunch?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
