Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize