she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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