dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
