I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
