i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
