Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
