I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
