I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
