Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
