remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
