Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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