threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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