its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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