how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
