I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
