I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
