Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
