Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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