Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
