I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
