ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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