So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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