I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
