im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
