This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
