So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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