Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
