I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
