is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
