Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
