Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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