Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
