My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
