I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
