Sponge bath it is.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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