i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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