Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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