she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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