just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
How's work?
Spinning.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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