ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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