Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize