the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
