Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
