its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
