I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize